OK Go, you broke my heart.

all kinds of sadness these days. not the chipper stuff i've been promising, but i only report the truth as i see it, so here we are.

• sadness #1: the revelation that i have the soul of somebody who's at least twice my age, and most importantly, at least twice what ought to be my level of jaded-ness. a lot of internal (and external - sorry for the whining, D!) struggle today. this strange, extreme sense of duty or responsibility. this inability to just enjoy things. where did my 20s go? it's like i went from 19 to 90. why do i have the word "wizened" in my head!? i watched aladdin the other night and i found myself irked by the impossibility of the story - they knew each other for a matter of hours and they knew they were right for each other?! lying and posturing is forgivable with a single sweet memory? how did jasmine become so worldy, independent and forthright if she'd never seen or known anything beyond the palace walls? did she have teachers? books? anything? (am i making an "allegory of the cave" reference??!)
  
  how sad is this!
  
  
• sadness #2: raaaain. rain rain rain rain rain. sunshine, please?
  
  
• the most ultimate, pain-inducing sadness, aka sadness #3: struggling, yet still managing to pull off a last-minute trip to NYC w/the help of KDM to see my, as you all should know, most favoritest, coolest, smartest, hottest band ever - ok go on good morning america. i put in a request for tickets nearly a month ago, JUST got confirmation that i GOT tickets and was swimming in joy and lost in revelry - my first time in a tv studio, seeing ok go like THAT - and was half an hour from getting in a car and driving all the way up there (4-5 hrs) w/KDM when i found this on their blog:
  
  

  GMA Appearance Magically Converted into Conan Performance.
  Cancel your plans to get up early on Wednesday morning and make new plans to get up late on Thursday. OK Go will no longer be appearing on Good Morning America tomorrow morning but will be performing on Late Night with Conan O'Brien on Wednesday night. And they'll be killing it, just so you know.

  
  i hope they know that that was no "magical conversion." that was the simple change of my heart from whole to broken.
  
  
• actually sad sadness #4: steve irwin was killed by a stingray barb off the coast of australia on monday. the thought of his death creeps into my mind sometimes and seriously makes me sad. how tragic that someone so joyful and enthusiastic should die in such a random and brutal way. and all captured on tape, no less?? something about it all just makes me so sick.

little funnies, in a weak attempt to offset the massive unfunnies above:
1) this girl used the "word" magnanimosity in her thank you card. i can't help but think she's been listening in on dlp's and my bouts of nonsensical wordsmithing.
2) if jogi were an animal, she'd be a panda.
3) if jogi were a cartoon, she'd be michigan j. frog.
4) okay, fine, this is a HUGE funny - LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE
5) that guy in the hot dog suit in the accepted movie trailer who bows slightly, puts one hand forward, wiggles his fingers and proclaims, "look at my weeeee-nah!"

am i allowed to end on that?